The idea of karma should not resign us to fate. On the contrary, it can help us to stay psychologically healthy in difficult situations.
We make ourselves suffer when we (1) put our ‘self’ before others, (2) fear loss to that invented ‘self’, and (3) pin the blame on someone else.
We can stay on the sidelines of life, anxiously avoiding pain. Or we can jump in, and perhaps begin to enjoy the adventure.
We are lonely and fearful, and so we construct identities around us. But they are illusory. In contrast, when we stop trying to control everything, and just attend, our suffering falls away.
Selfishness is one of the great causes of suffering, and learning to value others can be a great source of happiness.
Sometimes a helpless, unloved role has become a second skin, so that we cannot imagine there is another way to live. But there is. We are all able to initiate and negotiate help for ourselves, and love for ourselves.