When we blame chaotically, we are very disturbed by others. When we organise our response, things become clearer and more peaceful.
The paradox of selfishness is that we are defending a self that doesn’t really exist. Once we realise the emptiness of the self, we can lose our defensiveness, and find greater peace.
It is natural that we are self-defensive, seeking to blame others. But it is also counterproductive. By learning to ‘be with’ peacefully, we can break the cycle of suffering, starting with ourselves.
It takes a lot to hear others speak their truth. But, in doing so, we are helping ourselves, as well as them, to find meaning in our lives.
We all try to show our ‘good side’ and hide our ‘bad side’. But if we try too hard to ‘hide the unacceptable me’, we can pay a big psychological price in the form of tiredness, anxiety and depression.
We can use our silences, and our speech, for good or ill. It takes a lot of mindfulness, and a lot of skill, to learn a good balance between self-control and self-expression.