Many of our relational triggers can be tracked back to three basic needs we have.
Time alone is not fashionable, as it seems to be antisocial. But it can be surprisingly important for wellbeing.
To feel secure in our relationships, we have to manage our biology, our inner idea of what a good relationship looks like, and our relationship with ourselves.
Emotional blackmail attempts to control a person by leveraging their caring reputation. Standing up to it requires firmness.
Being authentic requires skill. We are like carpenters. Our inner values and feelings are our raw materials, but we need to use the tools of wisdom to produce the useful furniture of our behaviour.
Even the heart has a resting rate and an active rate. Our bodies are not designed to be on the go all the time. We need to learn a more natural flow.