WE PROJECT AND PROCRASTINATE
We have a habit of doing things the wrong way round. It’s called projecting. When we need to get going on something we’ve been procrastinating about, then we look around for people and things to blame – anything but get on with it ourselves.
FOOTBALLS AND CATS
There are footballs in our lives that need to be kicked – projects that need to be furthered, communications that need to go out, plans that need to be made.
Then there are cats that need to be kissed – friendships that need to be made, relationships that need to develop, people we need on our side.
THE WRONG WAY ROUND
The trouble is, we get them mixed up..
The footballs are things we need to do, to apply energy to. But we don’t want to. It’s too hard and lonely.
The cats are people we need to relate well with, to forge constructive alliances with. But we don’t want to do that either. It involves too much self-containment and compromise.
KISSING FOOTBALLS, KICKING CATS
Instead, we sit hugging our footballs, and kiss them. We tinker with our beloved projects, but we don’t actually do the hard things necessary to push them forward. Instead, we are very soft on ourselves, daydreaming a lot, but doing little solid work.
While we do that, we use our kicking energy on others. We find people to blame for our woes. We decide that we are let down by our nearest and dearest. We consider it very important to point out to them, and others, exactly where they are going wrong.
We become people who are lazy with our own stuff, but critical about other people’s stuff. As a result, our projects are soft-pedalled, and never come to fruition. And our relationships are full of competitiveness and suspicion.
THE RIGHT WAY ROUND
We need to change this. We need to do two things:
- Kick the footballs – identify the projects we can control, and take action to progress them.
- Kiss the cats – identify the people who are important to us, and love them.
What projects am I avoiding today? What could I be doing to help things progress? Am I procrastinating? Maybe I can make a start.
Equally, which people am I avoiding today? What could I be doing to help others, to make life easier for them? Am I hiding? Maybe I can make a start on being kind too.
Inaction and blame are time-consuming, and make the world seem sour and difficult.
Action and kindness are more direct, and make the world easy and straightforward.
I choose the path of action and kindness.