Being more assertive

Assertiveness treads a moderate line between avoidance and aggression. Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

Assertiveness is the art of influencing people and events, by treading the moderate line between avoidance and aggression.  Some people avoid confrontation so much that they never influence anything; and some are so aggressive that, whilst they do have an influence, they cause emotional damage to others along the way.


Just for today, try the following:

  • Try to speak out when you would normally be silent
  • Try to ‘lean in’ when you would normally avoid
  • Try to make the effort, when you would normally not be bothered


  • Try to speak kindly when you would normally lose your patience
  • Try to see things from the other person’s point of view
  • Try to remain calm through everything

If you are normally too shy, focus on the first three.  If you are normally too bullish and forward, focus on the second three.  The aim is to find the sweet spot, so that you are not avoiding life, but neither are you being too pushy.