Have you got blame-itis?

It’s appropriate for a baby to be demanding, but maybe as adults we can take care of ourselves a little. Photo by Colin Maynard on Unsplash

There is one thing that is the cause of a lot of misery.  It’s our tendency to blame others, to make them responsible for our happiness.

It started out as a survival technique.  When we were babies, it was a necessary reflex.  When we were suffering, but not being attended to, we shouted at the world, and, if we were lucky, a parent or carer came to sort us out.  For survival reasons, it is fair for a baby to hold a mother responsible for its happiness.

As we mature into polite society, we start to play by different rules.  Generally, we find that shouting doesn’t work any more.  This is partly because our friends and relations are clearly not our mothers.  Rightly, they don’t consider themselves responsible for our happiness in the same way.  Even worse – shock horror! – they answer us back, and tell us about THEIR problems.

As adults, a different behaviour is necessary.  If we all want to get on with each other, we need to moderate that early demanding nature, and take some responsibility for our own self-care.