A psychological problem which has received some publicity over the last few decades, is hoarding. Hoarding is the tendency to accumulate objects in your living space, to the point where the excess gets in the way of your day-to-day living. In short, over the years, you take in more than you throw away, and this clogs up your life.
HOARDING IS JUSTIFIED TO THE HOARDER
Often, a large part of the hoarder’s mind is happy with the process of hoarding. In other words, there is a pay-off. This pay-off has a few components, but, roughly-speaking, they might be condensed into the following approach to accumulating ‘stuff’:
- FEELINGS – “This stuff is of strong emotional value.”
- SAFETY – “Someone might need this stuff one day.”
- ENVIRONMENT – “By preserving this stuff, I am saving the environment.”
PROVIDING COUNTER-ARGUMENTS
If we want to counteract the hoarding, we can provide a ‘force of opposites’ – we can encourage ourselves to be mindful of the opposing points of view to the ones which are trapping us in an inconvenient life.
Here are three counter-arguments that could be tried.
ARGUMENT ONE – SEE YOURSELF AS MAKING SPACE FOR THE PRESENT AND FUTURE
A hoarder is stuck in the past – that’s where objects come from, after all. Much of the emotional value of objects come from their associations – from our memory functions. To counteract this strong pull, we need to generate thoughts and feelings around the present and the future. We can think:
- “By disposing of these objects, I am making space for new things to happen.”
Our lives may have become like a museum of the past, where we are exhibiting lots of things that others have done before. But that is taking space from the present and future. People who hoard often find that they have no workspaces, no free floor space, no available cupboard space.
We can let go of the role of ‘curator of the past’, and take on a role as ‘planner of the future’.
ARGUMENT TWO – SEE YOURSELF AS LEARNING TO TAKE RISKS
A hoarder is, in a sense, the ultimate cautious person. They are hanging on to a lot of stuff ‘just in case’. A way of counteracting this, is to see the practice of disposal as a lesson in taking risk. That way, the uncomfortable feeling of letting go can be interpreted as ‘making progress’.
We can think:
- “By disposing of these objects, I am learning to let go.”
ARGUMENT THREE – SEE YOURSELF AS ‘GETTING HEALTHY’ AND THEN ‘TRAVELLING LIGHT’
A hoarder can end up believing that they carry the environmental problems of the world in their home. This is not surprising, since, by acumulating so much, they create a much bigger problem of waste disposal. The dilemma is in front of them every day.
Very much like with a weight loss program, a hoarder can divide their personal development into two tasks: (1) initial significant burden reduction, and (2) building a lifestyle where they continuously ‘travel light’.
The initial disposal of a lot of material can be done with the help of friends, and perhaps coaching or psychological support. This is the hardest part for those who worry about the environment, because there is a significant amount of ‘stuff’ being thrown out. To counter this, we can think:
- “I am getting healthy by unclogging my home, just like a person unclogging their arteries.”
The later habit of ‘travelling light’ is easier for environmentalists to cope with, as there is obvious environmental gain in having a lower footprint in terms of material possessions. We can think:
- “I am caring for myself and the environment by having more space, and fewer possessions.”
SUMMARY
Hoarding is the tendency to accumulate objects in your living space, to the point where it gets in the way of your day-to-day living.
Arguments used by hoarders include the emotional value of objects, possible eventual need for objects, and concern for the environment.
We can counter this by thinking:
- “By disposing of these objects, I am making space for new things to happen.”
- “By disposing of these objects, I am learning to let go.”
- “I am getting healthy by unclogging my home, just like a person unclogging their arteries.”
- “I am caring for myself and the environment by having more space, and fewer possessions.”
ADDITIONAL NOTE
Hoarding can be an extremely difficult problem to solve. There can be deep underlying psychological issues, such as old trauma, buried anxiety, unresolved loss, and even projected anger. Counselling can help to address these issues. However, the above suggested thought patterns can be a way of getting started on the path of clearing objects, without necessarily having to face deeper underlying issues head on. Often, then, enough progress is made to offer encouragement, and de-cluttering can be twinned with deeper work as the client feels able to cope.
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